Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Late: Happy Mother's Day

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Even though it's not December, 22nd any more. Every day is a mother's day for me. I'm glad that my mother is still fit and healthy this year. But, sometimes, she gets diarrhea whenever she intakes something wrong. It's not really a big problem compared to previous year because she just need to take Attapulgite or herbal medicine like Diapet and drink oralit. It spends about 2-3 days to recover her health. I hope in the future, she always be healthy. 

I love my mother but I can not express it directly to her. I'm very rigid. It's inherited. It means that my parents do the same. Not only my mother, but also my father. They never tell me directly how they love me, but I can feel it. Whenever I will come home late without telling them before, my father will call me and ask me what's going on and my mother always suggests me not to come home because it's safer staying in my friend's houseroom than going home. It's okay for them, even they saved my friend's number, to anticipate if I can't be called. 

I love my mother, I really want to give happiness for her in her whole life. Because when I was child. I always make her unhappy. There will be always something that I've done and makes her hurt. I was a selfish child, I always whine and yell every time what I want is not granted. I make her sad whenever I don't want to do what she want me to do. I make her difficult, when I don't want to eat if there is no fried chicken. I make her difficult, whenever I found her that she had gone to somewhere without me, I always force her to go back to that place with me, because I don't like when she goes somewhere without telling me first.

As I grew up. I realized, how she loves me. She is really strong, indulgent, and caring. She never gets mad every time I make her sad, hurt, or difficult so I felt guilty for what I've done when I was child. So I promised to myself not to give her another hurts or difficulties, but it's a must for me to give her a lot of happiness to return the favor. 

In this case, even though I'm talking about mother's day, it doesn't mean I only want to make my mother happy. I also really want to give happiness for my father. Until now, I still give difficulties to my father. I still give a lot of burdens in his ages. Since I haven't made my own money, even he had been pension since I was in junior high school, my father still think harder how to make a living. It's all because of me, I'm their burden. I felt really sorry. 

Then, I brainstorm to decide what I can do to make them happy. I thought about to make my own money as soon as possible. At least, when I have my own money, I lighten their burden a little bit. I dream about make them enjoy their life by not working anymore, going travelling, having relaxed daily routines, or other things they want. 

It means that I need to work really hard. I make a plan and I realize, these things take times. 

I feel sad every time I realize it takes time to make them happy. Yeah, I'm growing up, but in the other side, they get older. At this time, my father is 69, my mother is 60. I always pray to God, to give them healthy and longevity. My brothers and my sister have made their own money, they have had their own family and become independent, hadn't depend on father and mother anymore, even they can easily give happiness to them. While, I'm still giving them burden in their ages. 

Every time I'm worried, Is there still a time provided for me to make them happy? Do they still can wait me? I couldn't do anything except keep praying to God. 

At this time, indeed, I couldn't do something big to make them happy. But I realize, doing what they want and obeying what they said are also the way to make them happy. 

This year, they have demands which makes me don't understand. First, they asked me to find for my future partner. Second, they asked me to continue studying if there is an opportunity. For their first demand, actually I don't really care, but they still emphasize and make sure me to search for the future partner starts from now. I thought it's impossible. I bargained, "How if I start search for it a year before I'm 25?". My father said, "No, you couldn't." My brother added, "It's impossible to find the 'one' in less than a year". My mother said, "You need to open your heart and accept whoever comes to you."

The second demand. It's really helping me to make them not asking about my future partner for a while. Their focus was distracted by their second demand that they asked me to continue studying if there is an opportunity. It happened when my father and my mother met my research supervisor in a wedding event. My research supervisor told about scholarship to continue the master program. My father was really excited. They told me at home about that. Actually, I knew about the scholarship before, but I didn't tell them because I didn't have the intention to continue studying. Just I've said before I want to make my own money as soon as possible so I can make them happy. I don't understand why they asked me to do that.

Before this, I also had counted it, if I continue studying, it means that, I will be far away from them for 2 years. I didn't want to leave them. Then I asked, Is it okay if I study for 2 years far from here, maybe we only can meet once a year? I'm worried about you mother, who will take care of you?". My mother said, "It's okay, you still have brothers and sister, they can take care of me." My father said so. But, I was just still in doubt, whether they really can take care of her. All this time, it's only me, the first person who can take response quickly toward mother health, ya... it's because I'm in the same house. While my brothers and sister have their own house, so I'm worried, what if they can not take response quickly whenever my mother needs. I suggested to them, if it really happens, please ask one of my brothers or sister to live for some years in same house with you two, so I will not be worry anymore.

In the end. I'm just trying to obey what they want as I could, even though I don't know how. I will try my best. Moreover, both are still uncertain to be realized. About my life partner is my mystery for the future, I don't know how to search for that. I just believe God has decided the best one for me, so I just think to wait. I'm also not sure can get scholarship to continue studying. But, once again, I will try my best. If by fulfilling their demands is one of the ways to make them happy, I will try hardly. Whatever in the future will be, but I will keep trying to realize it. I hope, I really can make them happy. There is no happiness I mostly want in my entire life except seeing they happy.

Happy mother's day, make every day as mother's day. Don't forget to also love your father. Obey what they want since you can make it, we never know until what time we can still be with them.
Posted on by Nurul Fajry Maulida | No comments


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